Click
for our annual newsletter.
Happy Holidays!
It is 10:00 am and
The View is on the television as I start this letter to you.
The little ones, Zach and Rachel, are just waking up (wow!)
and Grandma Lee is staying with us and she is enjoying her first
cup of coffee. Cherie just flew off in her car to work at a
local orchard, bagging remaining season's apples for sale, and
I am still in my pajamas. This is post Christmas at the ASAP
farm! Craig typically gets up in the morning, makes coffee (I
am spoiled) and trudges out to start his wood fire in the shop
and let horses out and get the first round of special needs
horses in their own stalls to eat. That frees me up to try to
tidy up the house and start laundry (a never ending pile) before
going outside.
We are having a heat
wave today - in the 30's after many many days of sub zero temperatures.
I think I cry out of disgust each night when I have to go out
to take care of the creatures God has entrusted to us and am
forced to accept their fight for existence in this frozen tundra
of a land we call Wisconsin. I know there are many advantages
to living in this part of our dear nation, but winter is NOT
one of the advantages. I shake with anxiety each fall right
before Thanksgiving, realizing what is coming and praying it
will treat us a little more kindly that the year before in terms
of snowfall and temperature. So far Mother Nature has breathed
on us her arctic exhale. Icicles hang from each horse's nostrils
and each movement is magnified when it is below zero outside,
as if the air is snapping with even the turn of a head. The
heat lamp in our humble barn does little to comfort the cold
kitties - oh, if only I had room to bring them all inside! My
garage houses the sicker or older cats for now, and the stronger
ones must huddle together to survive. At least I feed them well,
and they are loved. The dogs also find themselves indoors in
this weather. There are many in this region who don't give a
second thought to their little animals. I have seen many a hunting
dog or farm dog chained to bare wooden-floored doghouses, and
have seen many dogs in this area who have not even a bed or
straw to lie on in the winter. I have never understood the insensitivity
to those things that are dependent upon us for comfort, love,
and have secretly, silently abhorred it. Yet, in the MidWest,
often this is a way of life. Even some horses are left out in
pasture without hay, and no water to drink. They are dependent
upon snow to quench their thirst........................can
you fathom it? Reality is harsh, and the way animals are treated
depends greatly upon how each person is raised and in what environment.
Today - for now - we are all a little warmer - and with the
warmth comes a story of our own Christmas miracles.
I believe you have seen the pictures of the horses who were
dropped off here on a Sunday afternoon, shaking our world. The
tall bay gelding has come through a tremendous fight for life.
We have almost lost him on three separate occasions, but I am
here to tell you today that he is completely through the woods,
is gaining weight, and has even been turned out with other sanctuary
horses to "bully" those around him. He is so strong
now that his personality is shining through quite clearly! He
is harmless, but big enough to push his weight around. My eyes
admire his pushy ways now - I stand in awe and watch him maneuver
around the one-acre turnout. Just two weeks ago this horse could
barely walk, let alone trot and pin his ears or whinny from
a distance. He was so emaciated that the best he could do was
slowly saunter the 15 feet it took to get him to the hay feeder.
He was so hungry that at each bite he took, he choked. The sheriff
and the vet were both here the first day after his arrival.
The vet gave us what we needed to help him survive, but she
was gravely concerned about the lack of weight and the coming
sub-zero temperatures. She told me to have a blanket handy for
him. I did. But how do we get him through the "choke"?
We wet down his pellets. Ah - that helped! We slowly, slowly
increased his feed but not too much!
Two times we found
him lying down - we feared colic - but it was the choke. Banamine
injections brought him back around. Poor guy..........so hungry
he couldn't eat fast enough........as though the food would
disappear if he didn't gulp it right down. Results - I want
to see instant results! Yet I know that putting on weight takes
time, and I cannot rush it. Hay round the clock - plenty of
warm water - tick tock tick tock, the days went by and no more
choking! Yay! Then, last weekend, at 6:00 pm my husband and
I decided to take the kids into town and have a night out and
eat out together. I had put the gelding's blanket on him and
went in to change. All of us piled in the truck and as we crawled
out of the driveway I looked for the gelding and didn't see
him. "Stop! He's down!" I shrieked. Craig did his
usual, 'OH, NOOOOOOOO!!!!!' which, interpreted, means 'Why another
crisis? Why now? I suppose this means we have to stop our night?'
I saw the gelding lying with his legs under the hay feeder.
His head was thrashing and as it thrashed he was splashing water
onto his poor head. He could not get up, but we couldn't judge
if it was colic or choke. Craig ran over and got him up. He
stood, but his head was turning into a big block of ice and
the wind was blowing about 20 mph. We moved him immediately
out of the wind and into a warmer stall. Craig administered
banamine. The horse did not want to eat, but he once again laid
down. I dried the water from his head. He wasn't thrashing -
couldn't be colic? We just didn't know. My heart wanted to stay,
but my husband and family waited for me to get back into the
truck. I felt guilty about wanting to stay, and felt guilty
about wanting to go. There was no good way to do this, but I
figured I must honor my husband by doing what he wanted me to
do, which was to have a family night out. If I honored my husband,
God would honor my silent cry and prayer for help for the horse.
With a lot of faith, I walked back to the truck. I was silent
on the way in, careful not to say anything about the horse that
might ruin our family outing. It was so hard not to say anything,
hard not to cry, hard to look like I didn't have a care in the
world.....
We got into town and my 17 year old daughter called on the cell
phone to see what I was doing. I asked her to go and check on
the gelding in the barn, and to call me back if he was lying
down (that would gravely worry me). Craig muttered another,
'Oh, no', and what he really was saying was, 'Why are you letting
this get in the way of our evening and why are you doing this?
I know he'll be fine'............Cherie did call back after
we went shopping that night, but I never got her message. Later
I would hear that she walked into the barn and he was lying
down. She tried to call but was cut off. When I finally got
ahold of her after our shopping was done I said, "was it
a good, peaceful lying down or a bad one?". She said, "Mom,
how could a horse that looks like that have a 'good' lying down?
You can see every bone in his body!". I prayed - all the
way home I prayed - in his stall that night I prayed - and......suddenly
I realized that I was being attacked by a spirit of fear and
anxiety. Earlier in the week I had been witnessing to my foster
son about how the Enemy uses strongholds in our life to attack
us. Some have anger, fear, manias, obsessions, compulsions,
addictions, etc....." My foster son asked what my stronghold
was, and I told him "fear". Fear of something happening
to someone or something I loved. The lightbulb went on!!!!!!!!!
I was under attack and needed to take authority over it! I went
in and prayed with the gelding (who was up by the time we got
home and eating!), then went into my husband's shop and began
to take authority over the fear. With complete confidence I
commanded peace and health to be over our farm, and cast out
anything contrary to that. I felt it in my spirit as well as
speaking the words, and I began to sing and smile.........think
of praise hymns, Sue...........every one you know. I sang that
night, out there by myself in the frigid air, and God came.
He was there all the time, actually, wasn't He? The gelding
was instantly healed from his choking and I realized also that
his choking was a result of his own anxiety and fear........................but
now there is not peace in his own heart. Since that Christmas
week miracle, he has gained weight. He wanted to be turned out
and so he was, but is still tucked in every night. He is completely
out of the woods! He is going to make it! He is not only okay,
he is GREAT! I fogot to also tell you that I called my best
friend in California that night who is also a Christian to talk
to her about my fear and ask her to pray for me and for the
gelding. I told her that I knew he was healed. She reminded
me, "Did you thank Him?"......................and
oh, yes! I have thanked Him, and still do!
Christmas week miracle number 2 involves Precious KC. As you
know, she has been with us for about four years now. She has
fought every type of affliction known to rack a horse's body
after racing - she has a roached back, bad stifles, bad front
knees, questionable hocks, and an insatiable air of dignity
and a fierce determination to live. She is seen any time of
the day with Haiaku, our other sanctuary horse, who loves her
more than she loves him (don't tell him that but he might already
know). Precious is proud, independent, beautiful, a bit arrogant,
and hates being babied. She loves to dart out of the gate and
run down the road when you least expect it, kick up her heels,
and show us she still has what it takes! This year has been
a struggle with her, as she often gets pressure sores from lying
down in her stall all night that have to be treated. As much
as we hate to admit it, she is now on a regular regimen of bute
and occasionally banamine to keep her feeling her best. Recently
she showed signs of hating life, hating food, hating us........................her
hip went out or was it her leg? and she was BARELy able to put
one rear foot down. She will stand for hours, pressing her rump
up against a tree for support and somehow to relieve pain in
her back legs. It looked as though life was not fun any longer,
and I have seen it coming. With many tears, I asked my husband
what to do. He said, 'You know what I think'. I went in to write
my friends who have loved Precious so dearly for so long, and
they were saddened, yet knew that any decision would be respected
if it was in Precious' best interest. The night before the decision,
I went in to sit next to her. She was in her usual position,
but had her head was up and her bright brown eyes almost welcomed
me in. My tears flow easily and I poured my heart out to her
about what a champion she is and was, and I laid hands on her
to pray. She could accept my gentle hand on her neck and long
flowing mane. After a prayer asking the Lord for guidance and
healing and wisdom, I explained to Precious that we were very
sorry this all had happened to her. I also wanted to communicate
to her, somehow, that we didn't do this to her. I think she
knew. Human hands destroy, human hands build up. We humans are
very confusing creatures, aren't we? With no clear guidance
on how this would all end up, I walked towards the house with
all the unknowns facing me.
The next day I asked Craig how Precious was doing, as he usually
lets them out in the morning. He said, "Oh, I think she
is a bit better today". I watched as she walked on all
four legs! She was eating! Drinking! Rallying!!!! Call it luck,
call it healing, call it our second Christmas miracle of the
week. It happened, and she is still walking well today! God
is so good that He even remembers His creation on His birthday!
Precious was turned out yesterday and is walking better than
she has in two weeks. She is here with us, today, for now, and
is comfortable.
I want to thank all of you who have sent financial contributions
recently. Barb and Scott, Jennie, Evelyn, Patty, Beth, Darby,
Michelle, Jonel, Trudy, Linda, Deb, we appreciate you so very
very much! ASAP couldn't exist without your support. Terry and
Ann, thanks so much for your help in shipping horses without
charge recently. Katie for buying the halter for April that
she needed before being moved! And thanks to those who have
donated supplements, feed, and vet supplies as well, and all
of you wonderful people who are currently fostering horses for
ASAP without thought of payment for feed! You are a godsend
to the horses. WE love you all and bless you for all you do.
I will hope to have more things to share with you next year
in 2005 (just a few short days away).
Love,
Susan
