August 14, 2006

Hi All,

Many things have happened since last I shared with you about the John Lyons clinic and the joy it brought to us to have him here. I believe I had shared with you about the four feral kittens who were found in our arena among the hay, and Asha. I know it is time to share with you that I appreciate all of your emails of concern and also the reassurance that you joined me in prayer for the right answers in relation to Asha's condition.

Many of you peered into the stall at the John Lyons clinic to see Asha lying on her side looking uncomfortable on July 22. It seemed clear on that day that we should not allow the suffering to continue. On Sunday the vet prescribed a steroid IV shot, which seemed to help and within minutes she was back on her feet. Up, down, up, down, always whinnying for us when she saw us with those bright, trusting eyes. Little did we know that with a Cushings horse who has laminitis, the steroid was going to do more harm than good. We discontinued that and after consulting again with our trusty vets decided to just keep her on bute and DMSO on her legs each day. Well, let me tell you that Asha herself has decided that it is not yet time to give up. She is up and moving around now - she isn't going to play polo any time soon but she is moving around - and seems very comfortable. Her jugular pulse in her neck is gone, breathing is slowed down, and the girl seems happy. So, of course, we are happy to say she is still with us and still eating and bright and only lays down once a day now instead of the continuous up and down of two weeks ago.

The kittens are a story which still moves me to tears at the very thought of sharing it, but I have to let you know that with both of these stories there is the tiny but very mighty, powerful element of hope which can overcome the worst of things which we dont always understand. I am reminded of my pastor at our church who shares Deuteronomy 29:29 when things happen that are beyond our realm of understanding - "The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but those things which are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law."

What that means to me is that there will be many things which we would rather not go through and suffering we would rather not see, and death we would rather not allow to come to loved ones and our pets, but it will happen and we will not understand it. Those secret things that we DONT understand belong to the Lord and we can only believe someday we will understand why. I don't understand why innocent little lives that God seems to have brought to us must go through suffering at times, but I am willing to continue to love and care for what He brings even when it cannot remain with us and we cannot see their healing brought to completion. Those four sweet little kittens were so healthy, it appeared. They were eating well and active, and their eyes opened and they saw the world for the very first time. My children were in awe of their development and eagerly assisted in the regular feedings. Then, on July 30 one of the kittens, the biggest one, stopped eating. A few hours later the orange and white and the black and white kitten stopped eating. They began meowing in distress. The illness came (the vet told me they had distemper) and one by one we watched helplessly as the little kittens were swept into comas from which they would never recover. On Sunday the 30 after we watched the black kitten pass (somewhat peacefully), my children and I were overcome with grief and the oppression that untimely death can bring. My husband suggested we go for a boat ride and get out in tbe sunshine. It was not a good afternoon but we had to make the best of it for our childrens' sakes. When we returned several hours later, another kitten had slipped from us. There were two left, and I left them as they huddled together on the warmth of the heating pad feeling quite defeated by helplessness. I pleaded with God to save them, but the ravage of this illness they had was cruel. Yet, I had to hope. I know the Bible says, "Faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love". We had all the love in the world for Asha and for the kittens and it was not enough. We had the faith to believe God could move His hand and all would be made better, yet it was not happening. All we had left was hope, and I refused to give that up. On Monday morning we went out to the cat carrier to get ready to give the kittens the burial they deserved. My daughter and son and wonderful friend Ethan went to the cat carrier and lifted the lifeless orange and white kitten out. What? The runt of the litter, the tabby male, did not feel cold and stiff. Instead, he had been huddled with his dead litter mate but lifted his head. He let out a weak "mew"... what did we see? Hope becoming reality... the one remaining kitten still alive. He ate a great amount of formula and purred. I called the vet and he told me one may have been immune and if he wasn't dead by the end fo the week he was going to make it. Now I had to beg God over and over in my mind, "Please don't take him - what is it to you if he lives or dies, but what is it to us if he does live?" I try to make every miracle a testimony to the goodness of our Heavenly Father, and our kitten today is a miracle. He is growing strong and healthy, and you can only imagine how we will love this little guy for the rest of his days! So of all the things that happened last week, the resounding thing that saved that kitten was Hope, and the thing that keeps Asha with quality of life at least for today is Hope. Wow, huh?

It has been busy here with new horses coming in and others leaving. Uncle Skippy and My Ciao Baby arrived and Buttons went to his new home. Zerkel Toden and Kokinos also went out together to their new homes and all are settling in very well. The weather has been gorgeous and so life with all of its new possibilities goes on.

I am looking forward to the Northern Illinois Horse Fest but really want to find people to bring horses to show so I don't have to haul mine. I think we had Missile Mike coming, and we need three others. If you are interested it would only cost $25 for a stall. John Lyons will also be there so another chance to wave from a distance! LOL........

We have another office person now to help Marisa as she gets accustomed to being mom of three instead of two, and we are grateful to Bob and Jeanine for stepping in. I promise to send a picture of our kitten soon!

Susan

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